Hangs head in shame

This weekend was a real adventure for me. That's because I needed a new phone. I'm not sure how much fun your local verizon wireless store is, but ours is right up there with the dentist and the DMV. It's busy, the salespeople talk so much it confuses even the veteran cellphone users, and you have to be in line at 5am just to make sure to get served.

My trip tought me a just how much my world has changed in the last 3 months. You see, in those last three months, my mother has gotten on facebook, bought a Blackberry, and learned how to text. I should be excited about these, but you can't imagine the burden of getting a text from your mother at 9am on a Saturday morning that reads... "But what about mommy?!" While she's mastered the art and language of texting, it seems she still has a thing or two to learn about the mannerisms that go along with it. (Like no texting me before noon on the weekends.)

So back to the store. After shopping and listening to a convoluted tale of cost and lines and features from the salesman, my dad and i finally decide to take advantage of the BOGO Blackberry offer. We had to activate a new line to get it, since I wasn't yet eligible for an upgrade, and as a result, grandma now has a cell phone too. (I'm sure you'll get to hear more on that later.) As we're sitting there in the store setting everything up on the newly activated phones, the salesman tells my mom, "make sure to give these guys lessons on Blackberry's." I couldn't be more mortified.

The woman who still calls me every week for some simple computer problem, and only entered the internet social world 3 months ago, is now teaching me on how to use my smartphone. Just what have I turned into? It couldn't be that bad... could it? Oh yes. It could be.

As Dad and I sat there getting our emails set up, mom calls her sister to warn her that grandma can now call her for free. A few minutes into the conversation, my ears perk up when I hear mom start talking about custody. I'm puzzled, because all of my cousins are out of high school, so custody shouldn't be in any conversation. Then they start talking about adoption. Now I'm really confused, because last I heard, all of my cousins were, in fact, my cousins by blood. It got even wierder, because I realized that Dad is the one who suggested adoption. Without hearing anything more than I was.

I'm really worried now. My mom usually fills me in on all the Jerry Springer in our family, and this sounds like a ringer, but it's coming out of left field. I start butting in. "Who's being adopted?", "What's going on?" "Am I your real son?"

Dad looks at me, and replies. "It's Farmville."

What. The. Heck. I rack my brain. I've seen a fleeting reference to an application on Facebook called Farmville. I can't believe it. They're talking about Facebook. In a way that I don't understand. Dad, who only got on Facebook 2 weeks ago, and is still only capable of typing with his index fingers, (at an impressive rate though,) is more fluent in Facebook than I am. I'm ashamed to call myself part of Generation Y. I feel like the parent. I need to retire. I can't handle more changes like this...

Can't stop the voices

I pulled this little post out of the Draft can. I never finished it, but you can enjoy a short post anyways...

So I'm trying this whole living on my own thing these days. Can't say I'm really a big fan. I get tired of myself pretty fast. Turns out I bore myself easily, even when I have a million things to do. The worst part is, I think I'm thinking too much.

You see I keep talking to myself in my head. I mean, who doesn't right? But now, my head-me just won't shut up. For example, while taking a shower, head-me composed this post about 8 times. That number is usually only 2. That's a 400% brain speak increase.

My inner ears just want my head-me to shut up. It happens even more so at bed time. I don't think I've fallen asleep before 1am since I moved in.

The Memory

There are times at night when I remember it as if it were yesterday. Two and a half years later. As if I could forget.

Falling asleep. The window is cracked open letting in the cold air of an April night. Country music playing softly from a radio in the corner. It's how she likes it. It helps her sleep. I never could sleep with music, but somehow, with her there next to me, I truly felt happy, and happiness has a way of lulling you to sleep.

I remember waking up early in the morning. Just before sunrise. She's still sleeping, breathing softly next to me. The radio is still playing quietly, barely audible. The room is cold from the cracked window, but I'm not cold. My shoulder is sore from holding her in my arms all night. Then slowly the realization comes to me. I've felt love before. But this is different. This is more incredible than anything I could imagine. In that moment I know without a doubt that I will love her forever.

This realization comes with a hint of sadness, as I know that our time together will be short. Her life is taking her in directions I can't follow. In a few short weeks she will leave, and I know I will never see her again. But I will always remember that moment, especially on nights like tonight, with the windows of my room open and a soft breeze blowing in. For some reason I feel the need to turn on the radio. I let myself go, and for just a moment, I'm in that moment again. I can almost hear her breathing. Almost feel her head against my shoulder, her arm across my chest. But the moment passes, the dog turns over and whimpers in her sleep and snaps me out of my memory.

I turn off the radio and get up. I close the window. I pet the dog for a minute. Then I go back to bed, pull up the covers, and fall asleep. Alone.

Every post I put up lately starts with, it's been awhile... so this time I won't bother with all that. I'll just list a few quick excuses for you to reference and discuss among yourselves, then delve into some more exciting things.

1. I broke my hand, and typing sucks
2. I've been working 60 hours a week
3. I've been developing 10 new sites for Instant Impressions Design

I've got plenty of other excuses, but those seem like the ones most likely to be true. Anyways, on to the good part.

Life has been INSANE lately. Instant Impressions has taken off to a good start, and I have so many client sites to work on, I haven't even gotten time to work on my own site. Some software issues with my computer's built in web server have given me a few hiccups lately, but I think I've found away around that, and will have my own Dev environment up and running later this week. It sounds like I'll have four of my ten client sites done in the next four weeks or so. Maybe then I'll actually turn a profit. (At least the IRS hopes so right?)

I've also begun leaving Duke out of the cage during the days since he stopped having accidents. It was a good choice, but helped me discover a few things. First, he is entirely capable of jumping onto the kitchen counter if I leave the bar stools turned the wrong way. Second, I think he's a genetically engineered sheepdog. Anything and everything that he can get his jaws on winds up in a huge pile in the middle of the living room floor by the end of the day. He doesn't chew, (lucky for him, since he decided to herd my $100 pair of Puma's) just herd's. It's kinda funny actually. I get my revenge on him by checking facebook when I get home before taking him for a walk.

I also bought a camera for the first time ever. I needed it for IID stuff, but have used it for fun stuff once in a while too. It's really pissing people off. Mainly because I've taken a couple hundred pictures that people are anxiously waiting for on facebook, and of which I have procrastinated uploading. It does some pretty fancy stuff, and shoots at 12mp, meaning I can blow up my coolest shots to poster size without sacrificing quality.

That's about all I got right now, (it is 2:30 in the morning,) but I promise I'll put up something worth reading tomorrow. I think my blogging will make a resurgance in the upcoming weeks and months, and you'll once again be spitting your diet coke out your nose onto your keyboard.